Question: Are you a stepmom or does your child have one?

<p> &lt;p&gt;Goodmorning,&lt;/p&gt;<br>
&lt;p&gt;Its 6:30 and I've been up for the past hour. </p>
<p>I don't know what to make of this situation I've been put in. Over the years my stepdaughter and I have grown alot together and we've bonded so well. I can't wait until those teenage years. I am just happy we will have a relationship when she's that age, some moms come in the picture then, I'm glad its now.&lt;/p&gt;<br>
&lt;p&gt;In the beginning it was hard she was only five and never had to share daddy before now she had a baby brother on the way and a new mom. It was also hard for me to losen up to her. I made sure I helped her color and clean her room we did have fun together but I wasn't able to cudle her and get that close. As she got older it was easier, I realized we share the same zoidac, we're both sagittarians, her birthday is three days after mine. I began to realize how much we were alike. We have things in common and share the same taste. I then became soft, she began to call me mommy around our second thanksgiving together. </p>
<p>The day she asked me if it was okay if she addressed me as mommy was a day I will never forget. My husband and I were so stunned, what could I tell her? She called me mom until the day her mom found out, baby girl told her mom that she has two moms and we said it was OK. Her mother was so livid we didn't see her for a weeks.
Mom still crosses her lips occasionally, because she knows its okay. She just doesn't want to get scolded by her mom. Her mom once told me that if her dad wasn't home that she shouldn't be with her brother and I she needs time w/ daddy not you.
Yesterday I received a call from her asking how long has baby girl been complaining about her chest hurting? Clueless me didn't have a clue what she was talking about its been almost two weeks since she's been here. What chest pain I reply? As she went on,  I remembered, about a month ago babygirl came to me about pain in her chest, I'm thinking she can't breathe and needed a breathing treatment or something but the pain she was discribing were growing boobs. We laughed and I told her thats the pains of being a girl, jokingly I told her she will start to get hair in places and the conversation was not a heart to heart sit down lets talk kinda of thing, she's only eight and her question seemed more like she was wondering if it were true that when boobs grow they hurt, because that's what she heard.
Anyway, her mom goes on how babygirl wasnt talking to her and if she comes to me again about questions to just tell her go ask her mom.  Now I love that baby girl comes to me and will talk to me about what's going on, she comes in crying after an argument with on of her friends, I listen. We talk.
She asked me to buy her a bra (before the chest hurting issue) and it took me awhile but finially I remembered having one without having any up there(thanks to my sis in-law for jogging my memory) i was the only girl at the sleep over with a matching panty and bra set. My sister in-law brought her some little bras that she was keeping for her from her only other niece, I found the little matching sets.
Her mom was also livid over this,  she refused for her to wear them.
I know the bond we share will only get stronger and I feel as if when the issue of sex comes up that I will be the one she comes to. I don't want to tell her no and have her talk to anyone, especially if she's not telling her mother things. I run everything by her father before I make any decisions and I tell him everything she tells me (even is he doesn't want to hear it).
The big difference between the two moms is one is Goth and one is a girly girl. One cares about their appearence ad the other could care less. One has a piecred face with gauge ears and tattoos the other hates needles.  The child in the middle is a total girl and what "we" like the real mom hates.
Do I listen to the real mom and stop talking to her child or should I look at it as I rather her talk to me that shut both of us out.